My Jot Page

Rat, Cat and Strategic Consultnts

2006-10-06T15:16:00.000+05:30

R

at is faced with a threat. The threat is to his existence on this earth. His life is at risk as long as Cat is there on the face of this earth. Those of you who laid your hands on history text book will recollect that, last time Rat tried to manage the threat by belling the Cat. So this time it decided to eliminate the threat rather than trying to manage it.

RAT convened a meeting of its security council. They were unanimous on the opinion that this kind of strategic decision should be left to experts. So Cat appointed M/S. X Management Consultants (Real name is not revealed).

The amount of information they required was less only to the fees they charged. They took a whole month to come out with a three page strategic document which evaluated the strategies to overcome the fatal threat paused by Cat. After carefully evaluating various strategies M/S. X consultants suggested that Rat has to become Lion. According to them Lion is the King of Jungle. His authority in the Forest is unquestioned. So the best option is to become a Lion.

Rat was little skeptical about the practicality of the idea. But the experts in his Security Council where of the opinion that X consultants cannot be wrong as their report is a result of all managerial wisdom M/S X Consultants had acquired from B Schools and enriched through out their consulting career. Moreover where there is a will there is a way. Rat should become Lion, at any cost.

Rat wrote to X consultants asking them to provide how to become Lion. Rat got a prompt reply:

Dear Sir

We are happy that we had the chance to present a strategic road map to overcome the threats posed to you by Lion. We have recommended that you should become a Lion. This is a result of careful examination of all facts and figures examined and discussed by us.

But we feel that ‘how to become a Lion?’ is something very internal and specific to you. Moreover it does not lie in our area of expertise. So we request you to find out How to become a Lion. We wish you all the very best in your endeavors to become a Lion.

Assuring you the best of our consulting always

With Regards

Mr.X
Senior Principal Specialist Consultant
Strategic Consulting and Fatal Threat Elimination Wing
M/S. X Consultants

Dedicated

This post is dedicated to
1. Prof. S.P. Sreenivasan from whom I got the crux of this story
2. Following Strategic papers I studied at XIME:
a. Strategic Financial Management
b. Strategic Cost Management and
c. Strategic Business Management
3. All IT and HR consultants from my batch of XIME
4. To him for lying that I write well. 

MBA

2006-08-10T19:26:00.000+05:30

MBA

I know for majority of the people it mean Masters Degree in Business Administration. Those three words after your name can do wonders for you. Lot of challenges and responsibilities at a very young age, a fat pay cheque, a nice girl and above all a life which is more than equal to many others.

But I have found these interesting expansions of MBA:

Mediocre But Arrogant

This is the name of a book written by an alumnus of XLRI. The book is about the life in an imaginary business school named MIJ-Management Institute of Jamshedpur.

Much Below Average

I first heard this from my Finance professor at XIME. He was driving the point that MBAs should think that they are much below average, which, according to him, will prevent organizations from being affected by managerial hubris.

My Boss Always right

This is an attitude of employees which can ruin organizations. Boss may be hearing only what he wants to hear while missing out what he should hear. I think all the employers should be able to recruit smart people who can cleverly sandwich disagreements among agreements to their bosses so that the boss is getting the right picture and making the right decision.

Master of Beer Administration

It is T shirt slogan. If I consider some of my batch mates, I think the expansion is justified but the word Beer should be substituted with Booze.

My Big Attitude

Attitude is everything; it can make or mar persons and institutions. I think organizations should have people with right attitude

For you my dear Friend

2006-08-06T16:26:00.000+05:30

“Friendship marks life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating in to obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing”.

Until I read the Happy Friendship Day SMS from my mobile service provider I din't realize that today is Friendship Day. Though personally I don’t find anything special and great in celebrating a friendship day; lot of faces flashed through my mind. I I owe a lot to them.

I owe a lot to him:

For running after my cycle to teach my cycling and to pick me up each time I fell down. My friend I have studied so many things after that. But nobody struggled as much as you did to teach me cycling. Believe me even my Finance professor had a better time teaching me how to formulate hedging strategies for foreign currency exposure.

I owe a lot to him:

For helping me to laugh of my pain even when I was feeling that I will breaking in to million pieces.

I owe a lot to him:

For lending me his bike and for taking the even more great risk of being my pillion when I am trying to figure out why should I always kick something called gear in opposite directions depending up on whether I want to reduce or increase my speed? I owe you a lot to him For explaining and showing that it is necessary to (1) reduce acceleration; (2)apply brake and clutch simultaneously , (3) change gear and turn on the indicator, each time I wanted take a turn. I respect you even more importantly for showing me that it can be done with two hands and two legs of a single person.

I owe a lot to him:

For taking me to the pond and letting me know that water also has a taste in the process of teaching me swimming. I can still recollect the 'kissing the death feeling' I had when you threw me to the pond where water was above my head. You taught me where there is no other way out; I will find the right way. When I went to business school my professor told me that a smooth sea never builds a skillful mariner. My friend I wanted to tell him that I have learned it from you.

I owe you a lot:

for patiently listening to all that I blabbered when I went high for the first time. I am running out of words to describe what you had in mind when you waited whole night next to my bed with a bucket fearing that I will puke. I can’t even imagine what you had in your mind when in spite of all these I vomited on the floor. I owe you a lot for teaching me how to carry myself well even when I am tipsy.

I owe you a lot

For tolerating all my idiosyncrasies. I still remember how you helped me to analyze that girl and teaching me what are the components of analysis. Let me tell you that the ‘pre merger analysis of strategic financial position’ I learned in my MBA is nothing before it. I admire the simplicity with which you taught me and your ability to create curiosity in me.

I owe you a lot

For the pain you have taken to wake me up in the morning to go to the gym. I can’t forget how difficult it was for you to pull me up when I can’t push me up after my sixth push-up. I respect you for perfectly agreeing with me to stop going to gym after one month when we realized that it will take months to have that shape.

I owe you a lot

For teaching me how a gentleman should behave. I admire your ability to demand chivalry in a feminine way. You taught me to keep limits; you taught me to respect opposite sex and it was you who taught me to be assertive without being aggressive.

I owe you a lot

For teaching me what persistence is and for showing me the real meaning of resilience. You showed me attitude will determine my altitude and not aptitude.

My friend I owe you a lot

for believing in myself even when I stopped believing in me. When you conveyed that you still believe in me; the impact of it was more than a million motivational speeches. I respect you for your ability to sit beside me when I am totally down and boost up my spirit even without talking anything to me – I will call this as magic.

My friend, a zillion thanks to you for making this earth a beautiful place for me to live in.

I want to take Revenge

2006-07-05T10:37:00.000+05:30

Earlier I have decided that I will forgive but I will not forget. But this I can’t forget or forgive. I failed in an exam day before yesterday. May be the first exam failure in my life. It was a certification test in Basics of Datawarehousing. In the online exam everything was Greek and Latin to me.

Two days I was contemplating strategies for taking revenge. Finally I have zeroed in on this: make him (that *** who set the paper) study and take a test on risk management using derivatives. I will ask him various hedging strategies and how to hedge a foreign currency exposure when you are facing an interest rate risk also etc..

Company bus

2006-06-28T15:37:00.000+05:30

Journey in the company bus is very boring. Nobody will talk everybody will keep their lips tightly closed. You will feel that everyone is sad to leave the company but that will be immediately ruled out when you think of the speed with which they enter the bus. If you ask anyone anything they will give you monosyllabic answers which will wipe out the urge to ask next question. So I tried sleeping for few days, but it is impossibility as I am traveling through Hosur Road. But I am trying hard to develop the skill of sleeping immediately after getting in to the bus and waking up just before getting down.

I know I will develop this skill as practice makes one perfect (thanks to my high school English teacher who taught me to elaborate this proverb for exams) and impossible is nothing (thanks Adidas).

Happy B’day Messi and a Belated Gift

2006-06-25T03:11:00.000+05:30

I am writing this just after witnessing the deserving victory of Argentina over Mexico. Critics’ often say that god and luck left Argentina after the Hand of God goal in 1986. They are right if we examine the world cup history of Argentina post 1986. But so far in this world cup they have done a job worth their pedigree.

It was Messy’s B’day yesterday, (June 24). This victory would be a suiting B’day gift to him on his nineteenth birthday. Happy birthday Messi ; it’s a delight watching you playing.

My Job and My Girl

2006-06-21T15:25:00.000+05:30

Long ago when both a job and a girl friend was a dream I wanted my job to be like my girl friend.

I wanted to approach my job with the same passion and love that I would have for her

I wanted to respect and be proud f my job as I would be of my girlfriend.

I wanted to be as fresh at the end of the job as I would be after talking to her for long hours.

I wanted to do my job not for the money but for the fact that I love it just like I want her because I love her.

I wanted to continue with my job for life, like I want to be a part of her life till death.

But after completing first week in my first job I feel certain dreams are more enjoyable when they are only dreams

Certain things are better when they are a not a reality

Ego Booster

2006-06-17T16:45:00.000+05:30

She told him that her friend found him very cute. He dint say anything but gave her a dull smile. Still she asked why he is blushing.

He dint talk much to her friend in those two weeks. But at the end of that short stay both of them had to board the same bus to reach the city .On reaching the city he was busy to catch his bus so he said bye to her friend. But instead of returning the customary bye her friend told him that actually you are very cute! He said thanks.

But he owes more than thanks to her. Because -to say the least- that complement was a moral and ego booster. So later on he felt that he should call and tell her friend that her complement was a morale booster; but certain tings are best when you keep it in mind.

B2B

2006-06-17T14:10:00.000+05:30

Earlier as an MBA student it meant ‘business to business to me. But now I am using it to say that I am back to Bangalore. After the initial training at Hyderabad, my on the job training is here. My office is very close to my alma matter.

I am very happy that I am b2b. There are so many reasons like I am very close to home and I am in a city that I think I am familiar with. I am enjoying the life at the same place where I used to live without a job. Its a nice feeling to walk around and splurge money at the same city where you had to think twice to spent earlier.

And as far as my job is concerned I am trying hard to convince myself that it’s a good job and I like it (rather I should like it).

Imperceptibel but Definite

2006-04-17T06:59:00.000+05:30

Bangalore was slowly recovering from the burns when I left the city. I saw half burned tyres and the holes left by the burned tyres on the road. Prima facie it appears to be real madness on the part of those people to do all these when someone dies a natural death.

But on second thought I feel that there are more issues than blaming those involved in the madness. It was a total administrative disaster. It showed how weak and ineffective the administration and police of the city is.

Only thing the administration had in right was the information about Rajkumar’s public support. That also they failed to judge correctly. This is unpardonable given that fact that administration already had a bitter taste of Rajkumar’s fan following when Veerappan abducted him. They were unsure as to where to keep the body for public viewing, what is the extent of police mobilization required, transportation facilities required etc.. Thus people who traveled kilometers to see the mortal remains were denied the opportunity, venue for public viewing was shifted two times etc. all these resulted in total chaos.

I am not supporting the perpetrators of these troubles but saying that they should not be the scapegoats.

There are more imperceptible but definite issues involved. So called supporters targeted the buses of IT companies, damaged vehicles bearing non Karnataka registration numbers were specifically targeted at the same time gave a safe passage to the vehicles with Karnataka flag. I think all these are signs of some other deeper and dormant issues. It shows the regionalism and unaccommodating nature of the people.

What would be the reasons for this? I am not very sure about it. But one thing I noticed is that non-Karnataka people are a wealthy minority in Bangalore. They are the knowledge workers for the MNCs at the same time Kannadigas do manual labor and other such similar works. Thus Kannadigas have a feeling that their culture and their state is being taken over by others. So some part of the chaos can be considered as a vent for this feeling. This issue should be resolved before it reaches uncontrollable limits.

Home Sweet Home

2006-04-15T18:56:00.000+05:30

Reached Kozhikode( Calicut for those who cant pronounce Kozhikode) at 5’ O clock in the morning. Its four months since my last visit. There are lot of palpable changes this time. Many new buildings have come up and most of the roads are widening. But still the city keeps its unexplainable beauty.

Around ten in the morning went for a quick drive in the city and picked my ole books from the parcel office. Both the sun and the coming elections are heating up the atmosphere. I think mercury level here is higher than Bangalore, may be I feel it because of the humidity difference . I was sweating, rather melting.

Lunch was tastier than expected. I was wondering why nobody on earth can’t match mom’s food ! Browsed some of the Malayalam channels and went through some of the old news papers. One thing I noticed was that this time also politicians and people are debating more sentimental issues rather than actual development issues. Rape, flesh trading, corruption and same old washing of dirty linen in public. I was really surprised that not even a single party talked about the DIC project.

I will rest and relax at home for next two weeks while preparing for the CFA exam of ICFAI. No motivation at all for studying but still I have to…

And I am missing something very badly. Don’t make a guess its not SHE but the round clock internet connection. Here the connection is very slow and will be able to browses only in the night as I have to use a dial up connection. So there will be a minimum delay of 24 hours to all the mails.

I feel this post was longer than expected so concluding.

Adieu XIME

2006-04-14T06:42:00.000+05:30

I walked in to this institute without any prestige or pedigree. But still I am walking out with a job and career like others. I owe a lot to you. Past two years taught me many things, more outside the class than inside.(I will write about it in a later post).

I know, I have miles to go and miles to go but this is my launching pad for the journey of a thousands mile. Thanks for the perfect launch and for gifting me the right companions.

I am leaving Bangalore today.

MY CCC

2006-04-13T13:43:00.000+05:30

Describe the three things that shape your philosophy of life? I first heard this question during the placement season of our seniors. That time it appeared as a stupid question to me- something a typical HR manager will ask when he doesn’t have anything else to ask. In fact they are a store house of such questions like what are your strengths, what is your weakness, what is our biggest achievement etc.

But later on (more precisely one week before our placement week) I thought it is worth understanding what are the three things that I stand for. Though this is a forced outcome of placement preparations I really believe in them. So here goes my ‘CCC’-Competence, Character and care

Competence

I understand that competence is the ability to do what others expect out of you to do. Competence is ever changing and very diverse. I should be competent enough to perform my professional, personal and social obligations. I should sharpen my soul always to remain competent.

Character

Character is important because without it I cannot survive. It will keep me ahead of the rat race that is going on in the profession that I am going to join. I know as a team player I cannot have a very rigid character. But I know that there are some elements of values on which I will not negotiate.

Care

I believe management is not only about meeting targets, deadlines or crunching numbers. It is the art and science of getting things done through and with the people. I need to have a caring attitude. I will never be an aggressive and arrogant MBA.

Creative Accounting

2006-04-09T17:51:00.000+05:30

Accounting is often defined as a science as well as an art. But I feel it is an art rather than a science. If you are in doubt about this can recall the creative accounting practices of Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, Global Trust Bank etc. Thus an accountant, who is performing the art of accountancy, is a major artist in the corporate world.

The peculiarity of the art of accounting is that the artists thrive because others cannot appreciate this form of art easily. It requires specialized knowledge to understand this art. But it is very important that all the stakeholders of a business understand this art to be successful in the corporate world. Thus the government has made rules, regulations and standards to prepare and present accounts. IAS, Indian Accounting Standards, US GAAP etc are examples such regulations.

The interesting thing is that Indian Acts do not stipulate that the accounts of a company should be correct and it should show real profit or loss. To quote from Indian Companies Act “the final accounts of the company should show a true and fair view of the state of affairs of the business”. What is true and fair view? Well, that is for a chartered accountant to decide. Whatever certified by him as true and fair is true and fair. Thus the spectators of this art look in to the certification of the chartered accountants.

But it is not as simple as it appears to be. Consider this excerpt from the audit report of the Global Trust Bank

“attention is drawn regarding preparation of accounts on a going concern basis even thought the net worth of the bank has substantially eroded after considering the loss for the year on account of substantial provision against NPAs taking in to account management’s assessment of growth of business, infusion of capital through strategic/financial/issue of further capital. Accordingly the accounts do not include adjustments aforesaid incase the management’s plan do not materialize”.

For those who are still wondering what the auditors wanted say, it is this that the business will not go on for a long unless it is capable of infusing fresh capital as the net worth of the bank is negative! I don’t think that an ordinary investor will not be able to understand the crux of the matter from this audit report.

If that is the case then why did the auditors put it in a complex manner?? This is called creative accounting.

Surprisingly SBI

2006-04-07T19:38:00.000+05:30

Which bank has just put a billion rupees in to sea? Surprisingly it is SBI. No, it dint fill a truck with cash and dump it in sea; instead it did it through a creative (?) ad campaign.

SBI launched its “Surprisingly SBI” campaign to overcome the shabby image of an old public sector bank and to introduce its gamut of products to the new generation. To put it in the words of T.S. Bhattacharya, SBI’s Managing Director;

"The biggest challenge for SBI is to fight the perception of it being a PSU brand. We do not want to be under the cover of a PSU brand and consumers should be able to perceive how different and advanced we are compared to the others."

So the intention behind the campaign was to create an image. For that they hired one of the top notch ad agency and pumped in close to one billion rupees. But just see what is happening now. Bank employees are on strike, they are troubling customers equal to the population of Australia. Bank has again reinforced the perception that it is just another PSU bank which is vulnerable to strike.

It is often said that advertisement can never create a product advantage in the long run. It can only convey it. So unless and until advertisements are trying to convey product advantage they are a waste. This what SBI forgot.

I think they are adopting a piece by piece management approach while loosing a helicopter view. I feel like reading out these words from my strategic management text book. “Strategy cannot be implemented in parts”. If the strategic intent behind the advertisements was to increase the image of the bank it should also have been communicated through all other channels.

In a service industry like banks employees are a vital part in providing a pleasurable banking experience to the customers. Thus along with the advertisement spend it need to invest on its human resources, service delivery locations etc. As long as improving brand image is not seen a strategic requirement and all other policies are framed to achieve it bank is wasting money on advertisements. This may be the take away from the recent strike.

Selfish

2006-04-04T13:01:00.000+05:30

I hated this certainty though it was the only thing certain when I came in to this world. But now I realize that this is a scintillating experience. I am not sure whether I am walking or just floating, but I am completely weightless………….

I was astonished when Peter told that I am destined to go to Hell. It should be a mistake. When approached he confirmed that I belongs to hell because I was very selfish, that I never cared about anyone else. But why is he not realizing that egotism was my first lesson. I learned- to cut the umbilical chord that supported my life to reduce the dependency on my mother and mind my business. There after I grew in selfishness and now I died in selfishness.

My last lesson was also that of selfishness. I left my body for others to cry and cremate and carried my soul here to enjoy; to live in this heavenly pleasure forever. So Mr. Peter I was born and died in selfishness so do all the human beings and if heaven belongs to human beings it belongs to me also

Here it goes

2006-04-03T11:00:00.000+05:30

I don’t know what I will jot here. I am skeptical that how long I will be able to, rather interested in writing. This is because I was never serious in writing anything (believe me even my examinations are no exception). Moreover, most commonly blogged topics like cricket etc. are note my cup of tea. But it’s my self-interest that forces me to write. I feel desperately diffident when people don’t listen to the gyan I wanted to give. So this is where I will give gyan where I I will make rules, where I will set standards and where I will edit and publish.

Like any other bloger I expect people to read this and comment on this. I know it is heights of self interest.But that's what keeps me going.

Lastly I want to acknowledge the fact that thereare a number of blogers who make me think who stood with me in the hour of my need and who continue to inspire me and who make me laugh. I thank them all. They are my inspiration and my benchmark.